Memorial website in the memory of your loved one
Tributes and Condolences
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First Christmas....  / Diane Cassidy- Angel Mom-Katie
  
 
"My First Christmas in Heaven"

I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
Reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
That people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
With the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
To hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones.
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift,
From heavenly home above,
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious
Than pure gold.
It was always most important
In the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other,
As my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessings or love
He has for each of you.

So have a "Merry Christmas" and
Wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.
 

Clarky / R.
Clarky-
I have such a hard time with this website. Is it really for you? Do you really read these things, or is it more of a comfort zone for those of us who just don't know where else to go or what else to do? I pray that you read them...  
The day has come. It's your birthday Clarky. What are we supposed to do now? Pretend that we really can just think about the good times? Pretend that we really can just be glad that we knew you for as short a time as you were here?
We want more Clarky...We want so much more. I don't want to be thankful that I knew you; I want you here right now so that I can tell you myself how blessed I am to have you in my life. I don't want to look back on the good times and remember you for those memories; I want to tell you that I'm sorry and that we can start over and make new memories. I don't want to hear your voice every night when I listen to the recording you left on my bear; I want to hear you speak to me again; tell me that you love me, that everything's gunna be okay, and that you're not going anywhere. I don't want to read through all the cards you wrote me and remember how you always knew what to say to make me smile. I don't want to look through all of our pictures of us together and remember how good it felt to be in love. I don't want to sit in my bed every night and wish that I could go back in time and fix this; make it all better. I don't want to hurt like this Clarky. I just want this to all disappear forever. I want things to go back to the way they were. I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you and that I never stopped loving you. I want you back Clarky. I don't know what else to do. I just can't tell myself that this is it; that it's over and that you really are never coming back. I just can't. I need you back Clarky... I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need you to tell me that you know how much I love you. I need you to tell me that you'll never leave me again...
I'll Blow You This Last Kiss  / Hurting

I never imagined a pain like this,

One that will never be stopped or eased.

I close my eyes and clasp my hands.

I ask God:  Please,  Oh ,  Please!

I feel him all around me:

So close, so far away.

Make this all a bad dream, God!

Bring him back to me, I pray.

 I remember when we were happy Clarky,

All that mattered was you and me.

I didn’t care about anything else.

I knew that forever, you were all I’d need.

You’re not coming back here, are you Clarky?

You made up your mind and you were gone.

You left me here wondering how and why,

Thinking of all the things I’d done wrong.

I thought that we could’ve fixed it,

That we’d be together again.

But now I have no choice but to see,

This truly is the end.

I’ll never look into your eyes,

Or hold your big safe hand.

I’ll never feel your arms around me,

Next to you, I’ll never stand.

You’ll never pick me up again

And hug me so so tight.

I felt like nothing could ever hurt me.

Your arms around me felt so right.

I can only blow you this last kiss

And hope it gets to you.

May the angels bring it to your cheek.

Know it’s from me and that I love you.

Who You'd Be Today  / Denae (Friend)

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone

It ain't fair you died to young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place


Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Someday's the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday

why we fell in love with you!  / Kristin (friend)
Why we all fell in love with you Clarky and why we still do:Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives." -Unknown
Wishing you were here!  / Kristin Carter (Friend)
Well Clarky, our birthdays are right around the corner and i remember how we were going to have a nine day party from your b-day to mine for our 21st so we could celebrate eachothers legalization.  Well the first time for a lot of things are coming for not only me but for your family as well.  I see your mom and work with her a couple of times a week and i just want to hug her all the time.  She has been doing so well Clarky, and your dad and grant are as well.

I just want you to know that not a day goes by that i don't think about you.  The silly think is that i couldn't come to this website for such a long time to tell you that because it became extremely hard for some odd reason.  I want to be strong for you because you were always there for me and i feel as though i have failed you as a friend.  You watch over me everyday, your energy is inside me and i still to this day feel like i'm going to see you soon!  Well I'm going to mexico for my big 21st and i will think of you non-stop.  This brithday is dedicated to you Clark, because to me it is both of ours.

I hope this reaches you, its been awhile since I've wrote.  Don't forget me because I will never forget you.  I close my eyes and i can see your smile and hear your laugh, everything down to the sound of your voice.  I hope i never forget that!  Hold my hand for the rest of my journey, smiling all the way. Because of you I'm not scared, because i know you'll never leave me alone.  I love you clarky forever and always and your family will always be mine as well, thank you for sharing them with me clarky.  I knew from the moment i saw you, that you were someone special. Well you are and always will be! xoxo!
always,
Carter
Surviving / Reeni (Mom's friend )

Angel Clark,
Please, please say special prayers to all who survive you and continue to love you so much. The upcoming weeks will be especially hard for everyone, but the hardest for your Mom, Dad, Grant, Chris and Gma


"Surviving"

The news spread fast as birds on wing
He's gone not to come back again
The words hit hard as blows of steel
To give us all the deepest pain

How could he leave us all right now
We cried and shared the bitter grief
The tears flow freely from our eyes
But that does not bring much relief

Each day seems longer than before
As dark as night in sun-filled days
Nothing seems to be as real
Everything seems in a haze

A day goes by, another one
Time seems to move instead of sit
The pain, the grief, the sorrowing
All lessen...
...just a little bit

"Amalthea Celebras"
K.C. Fahel
12 August 1994
©1998

His Name  / Denae


The mention of his name,
May bring tears to my eyes,
but it never fails to bring,
music to my ears.
If you really are my friend,
Let me hear,
the beautiful music of his name.
It helps to soothe my broken heart,
and sings to my soul.

-Author Unknown-

Because of You-Kelly Clarkson  / Rachel
 
Because Of You 
-Kelly Clarkson- 
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break, the way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way to never let it get that far
 
Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust, not only me,
But everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid
 
I lose my way, and it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry, because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break, when it wasn’t even whole to start with
 
Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust, not only me,
But everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid 
 
I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep.
I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me.
You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain.
And now I cry in the middle of the night, doing the same damn thing
 
Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in
 
Because of you I’m ashamed of my life, because it’s empty
Because of you, I am afraid
 
Because of you…
 
Because of you…
Grant's birthday celebration  / G-ma   Read >>
Grant's birthday celebration  / G-ma
Thank you for a delightful afternoon, Steve and Marti. How difficult the
day must have been for the two of you. When singing happy birthday
to our darling Grant, the beautiful picture of Clarkie (on your bulletin
board) jumped into the scene and hit the core of my heart.
For his "HOMIES" to come home from their schools and celebrate Grant's
day was such a show of love for all of us!
As we say, "time heals," but Clark will always be near us - today, perhaps, he was smiling down on us and saying, "Hey, guys, I knew
he won." Kudos to Spencer, UCLA, it was an afternoon of screams,
laughter and love.  Thank you Liz,Lori,Don,Tyler,Christin, plus "HOMIES!" Close
"Clark's Dedication To You"  / Nick Zuccarini (Friend)  Read >>
"Clark's Dedication To You"  / Nick Zuccarini (Friend)

I just wanted to state I had this dream and wrote this poem through Clark to all of you.  As I was posting it on the site I saw the letter Clark wrote to his parents and I read it for the first time.  This verse, by Clark, I want all of you to know  "I will be stopping by for a visit from time to time.  Not always as direct as this but maybe in a song, a conversation, a place that I would like, a mystery jolt that prevents you from having an accident, a blossom that appears suddenly, a rainbow, a shooting star, ...keep your mind open to these visits."

This is not only a dedication to Clark but Clark's dedication to you.  A dedication to everyone who knew Clark.  I just feel that Clark really touched me last night and wanted me to let everyone know that his spirit is out and ready to surprise people as he did to me.  So don't give up or forget of him and as Clark says, "keep your mind and heart open to these visits."
 
                        "Clark's Dedication To You"

I had a dream and it was like you were really there.

I touched you and felt you and it wasn't fair

There was a funeral for you because you were dead

You decided to live and show up to surprise everyone
 no matter what they said.

You came and said hi to everyone with
much of a surprise.

Giving me and Grant a huge hug with everyone around
 in the stadium arise

I woke up confused thinking you were still alive

But reality hit me there was no surprise.

This dream showed me something that I will cherish forever

Your body might be dead but your spirit will be in all of us forever and ever.

Close
tattoos / G-ma   Read >>
tattoos / G-ma
A tribute to ur Mom,Dad,Grant.They r having better days.Never to forget
u(1 day @ a time)!Been absent from your warming website.Methinks,
Rach is a poet.God Bless Her!.Yr mom got me going,again, with this
monster of a computer.Tanx to Liiz& Jose, in bringing together your
tattooed  "Homies", before going back to school.U R connected 4 ever,
artistically.Rafa said, "It hurt like hell.".!We r all coping,sweetheart.Ur
Mom signed me up. clb29@netscape.com. Clarkie,I'm cool. Miss u
so much & see u you every day in something,always beauty! Close
Clark / Denae (Friend)  Read >>
Clark / Denae (Friend)

Clark,
So many times a day I think about you, there isn't a single minute that goes by that my heart isn't breaking.  I still cannot grasp the fact that you will never pick up your phone...yet I am unsure whether or not I will ever erase you from it.  It's funny the things that are the most vivid in my mind are the smallest details. You're manerisms, the way you tugged at your pants to situate when you sat down, the way you raised your eyebrows at things, EXACTLY how your voice sounded.  These things seem so small then but now are the memories I hold on to the tightest. There are so many things I want to say. About how I loved the way you were never too cool to be my friend, you never let me go without a big Clark hug even in front of your friends. How you would call me just to say hi, or that you needed a friend.  I remember the night you told me you were in love, so in love for the very first time.  I remember it all. It makes me smile, yet cry even harder that this is all I have left.  The memories, no solid you to hold on to.  There are so many things I have wanted to tell you, someday I'll get them out, but for now every song I hear or car I pass I look just hoping it might be you.  Clark you were so beautiful! I remember one of the last times I talked to you, you were waiting for AAA because you had locked your keys in your car. You said you were sitting there and just wanted to say hi, to me.  I wonder why me but then I guess it's probably because you had thought or hoped that I would know something was wrong, because you always called at the moments when I needed you and your intuition always told you when something wasn't ok with me.  I am so sorry that I couldn't do the same for you, that I wasn't there for you.  Please forgive me for that. Was I EVER half the friend to you that you were to me?  I love you and I am so sorry that I let you down.

Close
Someday We'll Be Together  / New   Read >>
Someday We'll Be Together  / New
Clark
I sit and try to make sense of it all, 
I would rather run and hide.
I can't find any of the answers, 
I cant stop these tears that I've cried.
I wish I could say I'm sorry,
And that I loved you till the end.
But I have to linger on now,
Try to live and laugh, pretend.
Time is not healing the pain,
And the words of comfort, I cannot hear.
For there will never be such thing as comfort,
For I'll never again find you here.
I will never be able to see you,
Up close or from across the room.
I will never watch you walk down the aisle,
Making the most beautiful groom.
I'll never be able to tell you,
What a wonderful daddy you would've made.
I'll never be able to tell you,
How deeply, for your return, I've prayed.
One last chance with the one that I loved,
The one that I love with all of my heart.
One last chance with the one who loved me back,
Before I let it all fall apart.
I did this to us Clark,
And now everything seems so unclear,
I wish I could have done something,
Before we got to this point, right here.
I love you so much Clark,
Now, then and forever.
And I know that someday, far or soon,
We will be together. Close
"The Parent Left Behind"  / Reeni (Mom's friend )  Read >>
"The Parent Left Behind"  / Reeni (Mom's friend )
by Tony Salvatore (1998)

Forever mourning the lost child
Forever lamenting the lost dream
Forever facing the hole in the future
Forever feeling the hurt in the heart
Forever reliving the unbearable horror
Forever regretting the act not done
Forever searching for the reason
Forever seeking release for the love
Forever.... Close
My Darling Clarkie-  / G-Ma   Read >>
My Darling Clarkie-  / G-Ma
     Your website is a beautiful tribute to your short life.  I've imagined the accomplishments you would have achieved, had you lived to my age. 

     If time serves me well, I was the 3rd person to hold you after your birth.  Bonding with you, I envisioned the finest future for my newest progeny. 

     All memories of you are precious.  Your mom and dad doted on you (you little devil, you knew)!  One Christmas, when you were 4, you put together an electrical system having to do with LEGOS.  Everyone in awe.  Little did we know how bright you were.  You were the geniuses' of your era. 

     I'm privileged to have known ALL of your elementary teachers.  Each, told me what a talented child you were.  Proudly, I observed every sport you participated in: swimming, baseball, basketball, tennis, water-skiing, snow-skiing, basketball and more basketball--parasailing, tubing, rafting etc...There were other interests that tickled me pink!  When you and Grant slid across the floor, toward Anna, in your Siamese costumes, in the "King and I" (you were 6 & 7), what a wondrous experience for G-Ma.  Today Squeek Sutton and I reminisced about your first piano recital.  What a treat.  She told me how talented you were, with your mathematical mind and music was in your soul. 

     So many honors you had from K thru 8!  When you walked through the arches at Virginia City Middle School, your blue eyes, blonde hair, gorgeous height, you smiled at me.  Tears ran down my cheeks.  However, as valedictorian of your class, you turned on the microphone and said, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."  I knew we had a star in our future. 

     Off to Bishop Manogue.  Between you and Grant, you were blessed with acquaintanceship's that fit the mold that you two loved: comraderie, honesty, good sportsmanship and the spirit to bring state championships to your school.  How many games did I get a thrill?  EVERYONE you played.  Some nights (when you lost) I would think, that !_#-! referee, was out of line and biased.  When your dad was thrown out of the gym, I decided it was not good for this gray haired lady to express her unhappiness.  Kudos to your Dad.  Kudos to your Mom.  They are the greatest couple and love you so dearly! 

     You met so many talented "homies". ( I love that word, it is so warm).  Through your "Homies" I have met their families, so genuine, sincere and, truly a Godsend to all of us. 

     We are all so saddened.  I was privileged to have known you in your short life.  I bet everyone up there knows how to take care of a jelly-fish bite. 

     You were raised with my endearment to you, you always laughed.  I LOVE YOU LIKE A PIG LOVES MUD, THAT'S A WHOLE BUNCH! 

     Stay warm, pray for us all. 

     xxoo's G-Ma
Close
Aching heart  / Meg Gallaway (Carol's friend )  Read >>
Aching heart  / Meg Gallaway (Carol's friend )
Hi Marti,  No words can express the sadness I feel for you and your family. What a tragedy.  You are in my thoughts and prayers and may God bless you all and give you strength at this time.  Fondly, Meg Gallaway Close
how? / Kristin Carter (Friend)  Read >>
how? / Kristin Carter (Friend)
Clark-
     I know that everyone has been asking u why, but im not going to do that again.  All i want to say is that i miss u more and more each day.  I have these wonderful real dreams of you, and you are here with me and we are hanging out and talking just like always but when i wake up u aren't there.  It is never going to be real, you're not coming back, i don't know when it will be but i want you to know that you were loved more than anyone i know.  Your family is dedicated to you and you to them.  Maybe not saying good-bye is better than saying it.  I don't know what to think!  I'm so confused on where my life should be and how far i should be from letting you go, but that is where we are all different.  I can't erase your phone number from my phone like you never exsisted in my everyday life.  Help me find a common ground Clarky, somewhere where i can miss u but be ok at the same time.  Please help your family be ok and make their lives peaceful from now on.  They love you now and always, Clarky.  I love you Forever Clarky, Friends Forever! 
Love,
Carter Close
in my thoughts  / Ashley Whitemaine (Friend)  Read >>
in my thoughts  / Ashley Whitemaine (Friend)
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.  There isn't a day that goes when I look back at all the good times at the house boat and seeing you at school.  My deepest regret is not being there at the service to send my love and sympathy to your family.  Take care of them.

Love always and forever
Ashley Close
Clarky / Rachel Capurro   Read >>
Clarky / Rachel Capurro

They say you never know how much
You love someone until they're gone.
His case was a little different,
For we loved him all along.
"You live life forward and understand it backwards,"
I once heard someone say.
Maybe someday we'll know just why,
But that day is not today.
You don't know what you left behind you Clarky,
So many eyes only left to cry.
All the hundreds of people who loved you,
Now are left just asking why.
There will forever be this emptiness,
This unbearable pain, this void, and this strife.
We cannot think of his funeral,
But we must look back now at his life.
Clark, I thought you'd always be here,
I thought this was only the very start.
But now instead of having you next to me,
I can only hold you in my heart.
I never thought I'd have to do this,
So the best I can do is try.
When it comes to you, my first love,
I never thought I'd have to say goodbye.
Goodbye to your comforting smile,
And to the way you could make me laugh.
Goodbye to everthing you were,
And to everthing we had.
Am I supposed to just let go now?
Now, how are things supposed to be?
I'll live my life just wondering
What I could've done differently.
When you died, a piece of me died with you.
This is one thing that I know.
I'll think of you everyday of my life,
And I'll never let you go.

Close
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