ajijic thoughts / G-ma from 5 de mayo #17, casa de clark , g-ma is in the land of your dreams. your ears are burning. your mom and i have had funny, sad, memorable talks. so miss you but have found your spirit surrounds me. i am so tranquil. the singing birds for rain encompasses the area. big smiles {clarkie smiles} greet me every day. i love you, miss you, but know you brought us to this land of flowers , birds and smiling faces. buenos noches with love like a pig loves mud, g-ma
On This Anniversary / Sue Clark, this is one of the times during the year that we all miss you the most. It’s not easy to come to this website too often because there is so much of you here –your family, your friends, your pictures, your music, and all of those shared memories. It’s you so vividly that it floods my senses with your sweetness, your sensitivity, your specialness, and then I realize, with such a heavy heart, that you aren’t here for any new moments to share with us.
For me, it’s so much easier to catch your smile in one of the many pictures you’re in here in the house, or to hear a Dave Mathews song, or to see you – just for that moment – til I realize that it’s just someone who only resembles you – if only just a little. These are the wonderful moments that make me smile because they touch my heart with the essence of you. They happen often, and I’ve begun to think of them as little touches from you, a hand on my shoulder, a butterfly kiss, a whisper in my ear that says you’re here, and you always will be because I carry you in my heart. And, it’s not just me – there’s a piece of you in every one of the lives you’ve touched. Some of us are only lucky enough to have a small piece of you – but your family and your very closest buds are so lucky to have a heart sized chunk of you.
So, this year, I’m not going to be mad at you because you’ve left us to feel your loss so deeply. No, this year, Clark McBride, I CELEBRATE you – not with tears, although they are just right there, but I celebrate you with my heart and that part of you that I carry with me. I will take every one of those little touches from you and reach out to someone else who is special to me and remind them of that. I will help create new Clark moments for you because you will be participating in each and every one of them!
Clarky, please reach out on the 13th, a day we now remember so sadly, and help us all to celebrate with you, to smile with you, to love with you, and to live with you by touching us all in your very special way. We love you and we will always miss you!
With my heartfelt love, Sue
Prayers/ John Doyle Marti and Family
We just heard of Clark's death. We are so sorry for the loss of your son. We pray that GOD will contiue to comfort you and that you find some solace in the joyful memories you have.
Blessings to You , Steve and your Family
The Doyles
to clarks family / Friend Friend (Friend) This day is a special day, it is yours. Yesterday slipped away, it cannot be filled anymore with meaning. About tomorrow nothing is known. But this day, today, is yours, make use of it. Today you can make someone happy. Today you can help one another. This is a SPECIAL day, it is yours!
BEAUTIFUL/ AMY CHRISTAL (NONE) YOUR SON LIVED LIFE TO THE FULLEST,HE WAS A BEATUFUL YOUNG MAN,GOD BLESS
G-Ma's bedtime star, / G-Ma (G-Ma) The long spell of not lighting a candle 4 u, darling Clark, has its reasons. You now know I am 1750' closer to you! The move to VC involved Grant, your Dad, Mom, Uncle Mark & Debbie, and put me in the hospital, however, it is the best move in my later life. Every night (weather permitting) there is a Clarkie star, to the right and above the V sign on Sun Mountain, the sign your Dad faithfully climbs every year to replace the bulbs. It is VENUS, full of love and beauty, this celestial body beams down upon my bed. Your presence is there. You and I have watched the world news, local news, we've read many non-fiction books (how did you like the Nixon tapes)? I would imagine you would like for me to watch more action movies, but sorry, sweetheart, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, etc. Maybe one night I'll try "Rambo III"! Grant loves being a ski instructor, he is trying, like all of us, to do whatever it takes to keep going. Your Mom is the greatest, you would not recognize the "Eilley Orrum" she has worked so diligently to change the shop and it looks great. Not enuf words to express the kindness and caring your parents and Grant have given me. It is getting too close to March 13, 2007. Two years, like yesterday. You must know my Clarkie star has helped, but will never heal my heart. You are at peace. MY LOVE.
To all those I love and cherish a Bereaved parents wish list. / Marti (Mom)
I wish Clark had not died. I wish I had him back.
I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak Clark's name. He lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also.
If I cry and get emotional when you talk about Clark, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. Clark's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about Clark and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.
Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.
I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about Clark; my favorite topic of the day.
I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that Clark's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of Clark until the day I die.
I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss Clark and I will always grieve that he is gone.
I wish you wouldn't expect me 'not to think about it' or 'be happy'. Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.
I don't want to have a 'pity party', but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.
I wish you understood how my life was shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.
When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.
I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.
Your advise to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.
Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When Clark died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before Clark died and I will never be that person again.
I wish very much that you could understand--understand my loss and my grief.
But.....
I pray daily that you will never understand. NEVER!
MY HEARTFELT CONDOLENCES TO ALL WHO LOVE AND MISS YOUR PRECIOUS CLARK. MAY GOD SURROUND YOU WITH HIS LOVING ARMS, BRINGING YOU STRENGTH, COMFORT AND PEACE. I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN~~
to clarks family / Friend (Friend) The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within our heart..........................Close
Holidays/ Reeni (Mom's friend )
As we approach this Holiday Season and Clark's birthday in December, I am praying for all of you who have been so affected by his untimely death. This year is the second Christmas and birthday without him,and I can only imagine how difficult it will be to face these days ahead. Just remember that he is always watching over us, protecting us. Although I didn't know him as well as you, I know his parents, and because of them I know he was a great young man, destined to do great things. Unfortunately, God had other plans for him, plans that we may never understand. Continue to ask him to help you, he will keep you strong. Love and Peace to Marti, Steve and Grant. Close
Im sorry Clarky I loved you more than anything / Just Hurting So So Much Read >>
Im sorry Clarky I loved you more than anything / Just Hurting So So Much
“What Hurts The Most’
-----By Rascall Flatts-----
I can take the rain
On the roof of this empty house,
That don’t bother me.
I can take a few tears now and then
And just let ‘em out.
I’m not afraid to cry
Every once in a while,
Even though goin’ on
With you gone still upsets me.
There are days every now and
Again I pretend I’m ok,
But that’s not what gets me.
What hurts the most?
Was being so close
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away.
And never knowin’
What could’ve been,
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.
It’s hard to deal
With the pain of losing you
Every where I go,
But I’m doin’ it.
It’s hard to force that smile
When I see our old friends and
I’m alone.
Still harder,
Getting up,
Getting dressed,
Living with this regret,
But I know, if I could do it over
I would trade, give away,
All the words I’ve saved in my heart
That I’d left unspoken.
What hurts the most?
Is being so close
And havin’ so much to say,
And watching you walk away.
And never knowin’ what could’ve been,
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.
What hurts the most
is being so close;
And having so much to say,
And watching you walk away,
And never knowing
What could’ve been?
And not seein’
That lovin’ you is what I was trying to do.
Clarky- I never stopped loving you and now I will never stop missing you! I am so sorry about everything - I never knew that I would really truly be without you. It's so hard... I need you here... in my life... come back to me...please...I need you!
One year / Denae (Friend)
One year ago...I lost someone. To all of us he was someone different. All of us knew something different about him. All of us knew something about him that no one else did. To all of us he holds a different title and different place in our hearts. One year ago I lost my best friend. I lost the person to call when you needed anything. The person to call when I needed a good laugh. The person to hug when all else seemed lost. One year ago I lost a huge part of my life. I never imagined losing someone could be so hard..but this has been probably the hardest struggle I have endured so far in my life. Each day I awoke with a tear and hoped again that he wasn't really gone. Reality never failed to set in. I had days where I couldn't get out of bed. Many nights that he came in my dreams-always to say something simple or just to grace me with a smile and a hug. The kind of hug only he could give. Every day was a new struggle, anger, sadness, denial....despair. There were many days where I was determined that I didn't want to go on without him. One year ago I lost my rock. Yet life continued to go on. I was sure that the world should stop turning because he wasn't here, but it didn't. One year of growth has happened to us all, one year of salty tears have fallen from so many eyes. One year ago I lost my hero. Still even a whole year later it isn't remotely easier. Not a moment passes that his face doesn't cross my mind, or a song plays that reminds me of him. Because of this he lives on. He is all around me in every place I go. But I miss him and hurt more that I possibly thought I could. One year later I am still hoping to see him again, but in knowing that isn't a reality I hope the next year comes with a little more ease for all of us that knew and loved him so deeply. Clark you were so much in so many lives and can never be replaced. I wish your pain had been less and that you were here with us today. I miss and love you so much. I hope you have found the peace that you were looking for and that for you there is no more pain. One year ago we lost you. Only one year down....so many to go.
Steve, Marti, Chris, Grant Grandma and every other live that was touched by him...my thoughts are with you on a day that will never be forgotten and that is so hard for us all. Close
For Steve, Marti & Grant, I pray that in your own time, in your own way, you can find some peace in your life. That now and forever, you will know how much your boy, your brother is loved and that all the love that is felt for Clark, is love that is felt for you.
For all who loved Clark, I pray that each of us can also move toward finding our own peace. That we can recognize how to find peace. That we learn that peace cannot be found in "what if" or "I wish". There is no peace in anger, regret or blame. Peace can only be found in knowing that each of us loved Clark the best way we knew how. Peace can only be found in knowing that we were as good a parent, a brother, a friend that was absolutely humanly possible.
I pray that tears cried when we are alone, come less often and that those memories that we have of Clark that make us smile, come more often.
I pray that those of us in pain have the courage to reach out to those who love us for help. That we recognize that we are surrounded by love.
Marti and family / Marianne Schneider (Moms friend )Read >>
Marti and family / Marianne Schneider (Moms friend )
As we so draw near to the day Clarky was taken one year ago, I pray comfort to all of you. I know it seems like just yesterday..... I will keep you in my prayers. love always, Marianne Close
DEAR CLARKIE, THEY TELL ME I MUST SAY GOOD-BYE, THAT LIFE GOES ON, THAT DEATH COMES TO ALL, THAT YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE, BUT THEY HAVE NOT LOST A CHILD. I TELL THEM I MUST KEEP YOU WITH ME, REMEMBER YOUR FAULTS, REMEMBER THE JOY AND HAPPINESS YOU BROUGHT. BECAUSE I WAS, AND I AM, YOUR MOTHER. I TELL THEM I WILL GIVE YOU LIFE, I WILL KEEP YOUR MEMORY FRESH, MY LIFE IS MORE FULL BECAUSE YOU LIVE ON IN ME. I AM A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE OF YOU. I SHALL NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE UNTIL I CAN SAY HELLO. LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER, MOM
Clarky/ R.
Clarky- I have such a hard time with this website. Is it really for you? Do you really read these things, or is it more of a comfort zone for those of us who just don't know where else to go or what else to do? I pray that you read them... The day has come. It's your birthday Clarky. What are we supposed to do now? Pretend that we really can just think about the good times? Pretend that we really can just be glad that we knew you for as short a time as you were here? We want more Clarky...We want so much more. I don't want to be thankful that I knew you; I want you here right now so that I can tell you myself how blessed I am to have you in my life. I don't want to look back on the good times and remember you for those memories; I want to tell you that I'm sorry and that we can start over and make new memories. I don't want to hear your voice every night when I listen to the recording you left on my bear; I want to hear you speak to me again; tell me that you love me, that everything's gunna be okay, and that you're not going anywhere. I don't want to read through all the cards you wrote me and remember how you always knew what to say to make me smile. I don't want to look through all of our pictures of us together and remember how good it felt to be in love. I don't want to sit in my bed every night and wish that I could go back in time and fix this; make it all better. I don't want to hurt like this Clarky. I just want this to all disappear forever. I want things to go back to the way they were. I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you and that I never stopped loving you. I want you back Clarky. I don't know what else to do. I just can't tell myself that this is it; that it's over and that you really are never coming back. I just can't. I need you back Clarky... I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need you to tell me that you know how much I love you. I need you to tell me that you'll never leave me again... Close
Sunny days seem to hurt the most Wear the pain like a heavy coat I feel you everywhere I go See your smile, I see your face I hear you laughing in the rain Still can't believe your gone
It ain't fair you died to young Like a story that had just begun But death tore the pages all away God knows how I miss you All the hell that I've been through Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today
Would you see the world Would you chase your dreams Settle down with a family I wonder what would you name your babies Someday's the sky's so blue I feel like I can talk to you And I know it might sound crazy
Sunny days seem to hurt the most I wear the pain like a heavy coat The only thing that gives me hope Is I know, I'll see you again someday
Tributes and Condolences
